How Do You Love?

Gary Chapman wrote a best-selling book called The Five Love Languages.  I'm sure a lot of you have read it, however, if you haven't, you should.  If you aren't a big reader, there is a website you can visit.  You can even take an assessment/quiz in order to discover your own love language.  

I have heard a few people say that they don't really believe in the whole love language thing.  While I'm not sure what their reasoning is for not "believing" in it, but I want to tell you my reasons FOR believing and trusting in these languages.  

Most of you know that I have a big family.  I'm not really sure the word big fully describes it.  Including the spouses of my siblings, my parents are at 10 kids and counting.  Through the many years of fights, laughter, joy, and apologies, I have seen our love languages work first hand.  Based on my experiences with my siblings (and a little insight from my mother), I have formed a few guesses about my family's love languages.  These are by no means the end all be all for my family members, but just what I have experienced. 

Mom-Acts of service

Rusty- Words of Affirmation

Izzy- Gifts

Breezy- Gifts

Jon- Acts of service

Ray- All of them (he seems pretty well-rounded in this area)

Claudia- Gifts

Brandon- Acts of service

Bailey- Words of Affirmation

Bryce- Quality Time

Becker- Quality Time

Knowing how each of my family members gives and receives love, I am able to tailor my love for them.  Maybe spend a little extra time picking out gifts for Izzy, Breezy and Claudia or go out of my way to do something special for Mom, Jon and Brandon.  

I left Physical Touch off of my list for my family members because I think that is a love language that is more likely to change based on your relationship.  A lot of people use physical touch as a love language more with their spouse/significant other than other people.  

I know this post has been a little disjointed, but my main point is this:  Knowing your spouse's/boyfriend's/girlfriend's/brother's/sister's/mother's/father's love language can significantly change your relationship (for the better) with them.  

Ludwig and I have taken this information and improved ours!  Ludwig's love language is physical touch (this is true with me and his family members), it is way high up on his list.  My love language on the other hand, is Words of Affirmation.  I love to be told that I'm doing a good job, or that I'm loved, or I've made someone proud or happy.  Now that we know this about each other, we provide each other with that form of love.  I give him kisses on the cheek to let him know I love him and he says those 3 little words to me.  We have also taken it a step further.  If Ludwig needs a little lovin', he will ask me for a kiss.  If I need a little reassurance, I will ask him to tell me how much he loves me!  It sounds cheesy, but it really works!  We both feel ridiculous amounts of love!  

So let me just say this, don't knock it til you try it.  Why don't you take the quiz and find out what your love language is?  It can't hurt!  And I'm telling you, it will really help!